Is that a Cyprus?

You know, a turnip is a log like a piece of toast...except they don't taste or smell the same. In my studies that's something that I *turned up* Ho ho ho! Don't get all nasally with me, mister

I thought I'd take some of your valuable time and do something that us commoners call B.S.-ing. Is that truly how you spell B.S.-ing? Probably not, but that's okay because I hear the toilet flushing and you know what that means.

Back before yesterday I was a goody-two shoes. I use to do what I was told and didn't give no "guff". Now...oh now! Baby! I'm a mean, very lean inexcusable vacuum cleaner in a post-colonial industrialized blanket factory store-room eating potato pancakes. That's how bad it's gotten.

Am I ashamed of being out of the waffle-iron of society? Yes

Why? Because I'm still a goody-two-shoes-who-does-what-he's-told-and-doesn't-give-no-"guff".

Yeah.....